its getting hard to remember why i left korea.
ive been home for 5 months. back in arizona where it takes 15 minutes to walk past an orchard or parking lot, where you need a car to go to the grocery store, where everthing closes at 9 pm and where all my friends have moved away from.
i sit in my house, reading books, watching movies, posting on forums, and laying around staring at walls.
i dont have a job becasue no one seems to be hiring. i go to school mon, wed, and fri for two classes. both of which i have As in because i have so much time on my hands.
i clean the house to get some money every few weeks. my mom sleeps most of the time. my dads usually in georgia or alabama or kansas. and when hes home hes in his office or listening to talk radio. i have very little contact with people. every sunday i go to church just to talk to people. at school i mostly just talk to one person.
so, i have to ask myself, why am i here? what am i doing? what arent i do? why have i found myself back in this position? am i happy? what am i waiting for? why am i waiting for anything?
ive lost all my passion and determination.